The heart of your writing whilst sounding reasonable at first, did not settle well with me personally after some time. Someplace within the paragraphs you were able to make me a believer unfortunately only for a while. I nevertheless have got a problem with your leaps in assumptions and you might do well to help fill in those gaps. If you actually can accomplish that, I could surely be impressed.
The heart of your writing whilst sounding reasonable at first, did not settle well with me personally after some time. Someplace within the paragraphs you were able to make me a believer unfortunately only for a while. I nevertheless have got a problem with your leaps in assumptions and you might do well to help fill in those gaps. If you actually can accomplish that, I could surely be impressed.